My Mammaca

to my international readers/friends;
7th April 2017
This blog is about my breast cancer. I thought I know pretty much about this disease. I also thought I was prepared for this to come, because my mother has died of it and my aunt had it years ago and luckily she is cured and fine now💓

How wrong I was! I knew at the moment I found the the lump in my breast that it is cancer. Anyway it was a terrifying shock. My feelings have been a roller coaster: I have been miserable, sad, angry, anxious, ashamed and yet thankful, happy and loving. I have NOT been jealous, bitter nor accusative and that is good. Everything has happened quickly. Anyway I have been tired and worried about waiting for the final results, not knowing all the facts and prognosis yet.

I found the lump on 11th Feb and already on the next day the ultra showed "it is not good" and a week after that the doctor told me the biopsy showed it is cancer. This cancer hideously hides on mammography. Instead MRI revealed another, even bigger, suspected area near the cancer tumor. Luckily there are no cancer cells found on that area. Anyway it was the reason to cut off the whole breast.

The surgery went fine and I have been taken care very well all the time in spite of the fact that they have to work in such a hurry in the hospital. The treatment of the breast cancer is very effective and and it has even improved rapidly during the last ten years. There is a team of doctors to decide each step of the treatment. The surgery team decided to cut off the whole breast and also four of the lymph nodes in the armpit. The nodes are the first ones where the cancer cells gravitate from the tumor. They seem to have been clear:)

A couple of days after the surgery I became very sick with high fever, rash and pain around the wound area. I was hospitalized for nearly a week to get rid of the nasty infection. Now I am getting slowly stronger, day by day. The wound/scar is fine and neat, CRP is down under 4 ( after the highest 220 during the worst days of the infection ). The first final lab results of the type of the cancer are promising. Although I have to wait until the end of April to know the final results and the treatments to come. There is again a delegation of specialists to examine the results of my cancer and they will decide about the specific continuation in my case.

I feel I have been and will be very well taken care of. I have also searched for and got support from all the possible professionals: doctors, physiotherapists and nurses -  also mentally and in nutrition and supportive treatments. My family is amazing: sweet and loving 💓💓💓💓 I am so thankful for all the care and love I have had from them! I also feel very grateful for all my many friends, they have always been there for me; thank you sweet, dear, beloved friends.

After the operation and infection I have been weak and tired for some weeks.  I could only stay in bed and rest. Cry in my sorrow. Eat baby food and drink milk ( I totally lost my appetite ).
Now I am getting better each day. I take walks and enjoy the sun and lightness. I have started to draw again and art is helping me to get over this as well.

Hope is back. I stick to that.

One-Boob-paperdoll with pampering pants and shirt by Nosh ( Finnish eko design )